Feeling Anxious?

Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He is a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches and writes the weekly Tribune syndicated career advice column, "Solve Anything with Dr. Mark" and columns on leadership for FAST COMPANY and Directors Monthly and is an expert at People Jam. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, and Today. Mark Goulston is the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work and PTSD for Dummies. For more information visit: www.markgoulston.com.

Guest Blogger Mark Goulston--

In anxious times, keep a leash on your fearful aggression
and embolden your fearful avoidance.
If you don't get a handle on your anxiety,
it will manhandle you.

Fearful aggression is what every show dog trainer needs to train out of their dog if they want to win "Best in Show." It occurs when fear causes dogs to growl and bark. On the other hand fearful avoidance causes dogs to cower which is not going to win them any ribbons either.

Dogs are not the only living creatures that exhibit fearful aggression.

I remember a business owner I worked with who was transformed into a tyrant as his fear of missing out on an opportunity caused him to bully two key employees to the point of leaving, and guaranteeing that his company would lose that opportunity.

Fortuitously, his company had another opportunity within a year. After I helped him "manage his anxiety" by channeling it into focus, preparation and determination, he managed to bring in and inspire people to replace the ones he had lost…and he was able to seize this one instead of letting it get away.

One of the best way to manage your anxiety is to follow these steps at the beginning of each day when you're anxious:

1. Admit that you're anxious by saying to yourself, "I am anxious."
2. Accept that you're anxious by saying to yourself, "It's not something else, I'm anxious."
3. Just experience that you're anxious by saying to yourself, "I feel anxious."
4. But DON'T act on it, instead say to yourself, "Just breathe slowly and let it go."

If this situation speaks to you or someone you know and the above does not help, contact me to prevent fear from turning into self-destructive failure and missed opportunities.

Also watch out for anxiety disguised as depression in your teenager at: Is Your Teen Depressed or Anxious?

(c) 2008 Mark Goulston

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